Once Upon a Time in China

Director: Tsui Hark
Year Released: 1991
Rating: 0.0

Abominable kung-fu crap with a ludicrous anti-Western plot: Americans have shown up in China and brought their sewing machines, pistols and Jesus Christ with them, bound and determined to turn the Chinese into morally- and spiritually-corrupt slaves (there are even boats to take them out on!). Of course, only one man - Jet Li (who seems to be doing mighty fine in America) - with his Eastern philosophy and Martial Arts training - can fight and keep China "pure." The result is incoherent nonsense with an exhausting amount of fighting scenes (only one is truly worthy of Hark - the ladder battle) and murky photography. The fact that there was something like six sequels stuns me - how can a country that produced Zhang Yimou stand stuff like this?