Troy

Director: Wolfgang Petersen
Year Released: 2004
Rating: 2.0

Lacking the kind of mad vision that made Oliver Stone's Alexander a flawed but underrated bonfire, this glossed up vision of the Trojan War can't help but appear restrained in comparison. Sure, you've got a lovely looking cast, but hearing them deliver the loaded dialogue and engage in carefully orchestrated battles is about as enthralling as watching a middle school English class perform The Iliad with tin foil helmets and cardboard swords; at least the youngsters don't take it so seriously you feel uncomfortable laughing. The anti-War message gets repeated over and over, but it's just lip service.